Left in the gray: The poetry of Kara Moniz

By Kara Moniz

 

All Encompassing

I am a paradox
One that is no longer merely mortal
No longer fragile
Then there is you
You are one of many
But I take away your face
Your individuality
Because you are the same as the rest
You are part of the legion
A legion of poison
Where the many become one

I am Apollo made of poetry
What you did to me documented for all to see
Never again will I be a victim of false love
I am Aphrodite finding pleasure
In the truths of the body and soul
I am a muse holding knowledge from those truths
Creating music because I remember everything
I am Hermes stealing back what is mine
Cunning in how I reclaim my voice
Pain is a language I know too well
My past is permanently written upon my flesh
Carved so deep it goes beyond the body
Scarring my soul
I am Artemis gathering the hunt
I am Ares with battlelust for revenge
Waging war against you
I am Athena wielding wisdom
Leading in warfare where I will not be defeated
I am Poseidon cracking open the foundation with earthquakes
Instead of drowning in it
I command the sea to rise then crash down upon you
I am Cratus with strength and power
No longer weak I stand tall
I am Dionysus owning the madness in which you caused
I have suffered pain there are no words for
I am Atlas enduring and remaining

Every hit taken chipped away at Pandora’s Box
There is no where you can run to where I cannot find you
I am Prometheus all seeing
There is nowhere you can hide
I am Erebus holding darkness
I am Chaos encompassing all
I am Kronos the devouring force you cannot escape
No longer tormented I rule over this place
I am Hades torturing you in the Underworld

No longer am I a cowering broken thing
I am Zeus taking control of my destiny and fate

 

 

Nothing New

Soon, I’ll be nothing but ash and dust
It was long ago, that my soul began to fray
Never again will I trust

Used as only a tool for your lust
You played me, you were never going to stay
Soon, I’ll be nothing but ash and dust

Urges I couldn’t control, the blade always felt like a must
Broken and damaged always left in the gray
Never again will I trust

Flaking off my flesh, dried blood the color of rust
Cracks spread across my skin, I crumble like old clay
Soon, I’ll be nothing but ash and dust

My weaknesses fill me with disgust
Trapped within the prison of my mind, I slowly decay
Never again will I trust

This pathetic life, this endless pain is unjust
My body is the mobile grave, in which my soul remains to lay
Soon, I’ll be nothing but ash and dust
Never again will I trust

 

 

Dark House

Come stay in my House of Darkness
I made it my myself
Cell by cell, it’s a living thing
Tattered gray wallpaper
Stained from blood oozing from the cracks
Whispering spirits will always keep you company
They whistle childhood lullabies
In the silence, it echoes
Ricocheting down the halls
You’re free to explore
The essence of previous guests lingers
It’s why each room is unique
You may hear a strange calling
An out of place, ordinary sound
The hoot of an owl
A puppy’s whine
You may see a floating orb of light
He likes games and tricks
You may be curious
Unable to understand
Why you have a sickening feeling
Deep within your belly
Through the doorway on the other side of the lounge
You’ll find a steep wooden staircase
Leading down to the cellar
Where one of my children dwells
Small black eyes and pointed teeth
Thick brown fur and an arched back
Four inch talons on all six feet
Delve into his domain and play, if you please
If not, continue to explore
Perhaps in the future
I should provide a map
It’s easy for one to lose their way here
Hallways winding like underground tunnels
When you stumble upon the dining room
You’ll find various pots
Spread across the large cherry wood table
Pots of meat, potatoes and vegetables
Go ahead and indulge in my home cooking
But I advise you, to not ask what kind of meat
You may return to your chambers at any time
If you choose to continue exploring
The door behind the grand piano leads to the garden
Just beyond the rose bushes
You’ll find an old brick well, a stony hole
Should you find yourself curious
Of the deep rumblings coming from within
Peer over the edge
Your eyes will rest upon another of my children
Resting on a bed of flower petals and bones
Large bright yellow eyes and thin nostrils
Several rows of jagged teeth and scales from head to toe
I suggest keeping quiet
If you stir her from her slumber
Well, she has a bit of a temper
Last time her sleep was disturbed
She clawed the walls of the well with such force
There are deep crevices in the stone
By now, you’ve ventured over all of the grounds
I hope you are satisfied with my hospitality
I am the Mother of this place
Welcome to my House of Darkness
Come descend into the bowels of my Hell


Kara Moniz is a 24-year-old senior at Nebraska Wesleyan University. She has written poetry for thirteen years, and has recently broadened her writing to include flash fiction and flash nonfiction.

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